How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
