sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
