the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
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it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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