He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
