First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
