before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
