Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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