Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
