Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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