He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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