if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
