Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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