Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
