so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
