We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dick very happy bro
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
