If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
