I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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