if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
