i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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