I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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