it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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