I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
