Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
