hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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