He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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