it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
