it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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