so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
