worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
