I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
