The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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