I think I died a long time ago.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
