Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize