just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this will be a night to untag.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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