I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
