I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
