Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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