whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
