i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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