smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
