i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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