i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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