I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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