wat bout pragnant strippers??
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
