Kiss
Puke
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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