she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bring money and cleavage
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
