I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
