sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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