You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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