grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
