I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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