Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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