It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
