Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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