you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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