Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
