real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
