Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
