saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize