took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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