Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
