I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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