So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
