Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
