i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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