oh god the rape fog is back!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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