yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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