he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
