you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
