Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
