You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
