Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
4 words: hood of his car
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
